willing victim

  We all strive to think linearly because without linear thinking we would be unable to relate to the rest of the world.  But linear thinking doesn't take us where we need to go. At some point linear thinking will take us to the edge of a cliff and tell us if we go any farther we will fall and be broken on the rocks below.  Non linear thinking tells us we can fly to the other side of the chasm. But there is a certain level of awareness that has to be attained before you are able to fly to the other side.  Your karma must be positive.    This means you must eat your own karma instead of passing it on to anyone who opens up to you.  And of course, doing good deeds to your fellow man or girl helps alot. Everyone believes non linear thinking is a mental illness and for the most part it is.  Unless you pay the price of awareness, the world will chew you up and spit you out. So we all pick a reality to believe in and and fight to maintain it when we encounter someone who believes differe

 

  It seems our intellect and ego tell us how to run our lives and out of fear we obey.  Well, boys and girls, this scenario isn't the only option. If you can become aware enough to understand that you are not your body or your intellect or your ego you can stop being motivated by fear.  There is an essence in all of us that can take us where we need to go to be happy with our lives. It's just difficult to get in harmony with this essence because when you make a decision that the ego or intellect doesn't approve of, a loud voice inside of you gets triggered, telling you that you are going to loose what you need to survive.   The main reason we go to school is to implant this voice in us at an early age, so it becomes very difficult to reach it as an adult and pull it out of our psyche by it's roots.  Mostly it tells us we have to do what authority figures tell us what is best for us.  But in reality, our intellect and ego tell us what is best for them. But if you put it

  I've found that most intellectuals have trouble accepting anyone who doesn't adhere to their ascribed gender at birth. In other words, if you are born with a penis, you find yourself under a lot of pressure to look and act male.  And vice-versa.  But is this the way everyone should be?  I say, how we present gender, in spite of what we have or haven't got between our legs, is a personal freedom, that shouldn't be messed with.  Soo the fact that there is a lot of resistance to this freedom, confronting this control pressure, and overcoming it, becomes a path toward enlightenment. But the problem is very deep rooted.  Since we all depend on money to survive and we are all born into a culture where money is controlled by a few people who want more power and more control, at any cost to the people they control, most of us live the way these control freaks tell us to.   The big question is, what happens when the controls freaks call us in for dinner and we don't go.  W

  Being raised as a boy but developing female body changes at puberty makes for a very difficult mental condition.  Sometimes I present as a boy who dresses as a girl and other times I present as a girl who hides the fact that there is a penis in my panties. I like to form deep relationships with straight guys, which is kind of a naughty gurly thing to do.  The guys enjoy the deep relationship as much as I do and you would think we would just be happy with our intense relationship.  But something weird always happens.  After enjoying each other's company for a long period of time, they start to question my gender. Once this happens there is no going back.  The relationship comes to an end and he goes back to being alone and unhappy again.  And I found this circumstance to happen over and over again with every straight guy I have had a deep relationship with. So I would start presenting as an effeminate boy to avoid the drama of relating to straight guys.  It is easier on me if the

Even though I was born with a penis and was brought up as a boy, when I hit puberty, I grew breasts and got other female characteristics.  But at this time, I also  became aware of the seed of God deep in my being. I nurtured this seed with thoughts and actions of love and peace and truth and freedom. I protected this seed from the attacks of the world and never betrayed the integrity of it’s being. I found that weather I presented as a girly boy or a girl with a penis in her panties, the world was very hostile to me.  I figured it was because  most of the people around me had either sold their seed to the highest bidder or had fed it thoughts and actions motivated by fear until it withered and died. The world did its' best to make me believe in its   illusions,  but I never lost sight of the truth. Finally,  after finding out that I could not be bought or scared into submission, the world decided to erase me. But by this time the seed of God had become my main reason for being