willing victim

                                                                                 I became a femboy because the world crushed my male ego.  At the time it was very painful, but I was able to survive by adopting a femboy persona.  It was still a difficult path to follow but after taking my fair share of abuse, I started to see light at the end of this tunnel. I became aware that no matter how hard it tried, the world couldn't hurt me anymore.  I had eaten all my bad karma and remained on a high spiritual level, no matter how I looked or even if I had a penis in my panties.  I found when I applied for a job looking like a girl, but checking off the male box in my application, I didn't get the job.  So I tried getting a boy haircut but that didn't work either. L So...

   I find myself in a strange place.  I did materialize unconditional love in the form of a guy I knew before.  Unfortunately he is very unstable and he has no awareness of what he is doing.  At the moment, his unconditional love is motivated by lust, which is not very sustainable. Also his father has control of his mind at an unconscious level and when he tries to satisfy his lust with me the part of his mind under his fathers' control goes crazy.        But I did give into his desire for sex and he didn't go crazy.  At a very deep spiritual level, way deeper than his conscious awareness, he knows that he needs me.  And so is trying very hard not to be an asshole.  As for me, I find myself enjoying the fact that my female persona is needed so badly and that I am giving him the female attention he so desperately needs.  I did start seeing a t-girl from my past who I had had a very deep relationship with.  Sh...