willing victim

    To get a little back ground on this story, it might be helpful to read my, "Being Gender Fluid" story.      A lot has been happening as my gender fluidness meshes with my spirituality.  Because of my femboi profile on second life I was invited to join a group by a guy who put together an amazing site.  He gave me a tour of his place and then we had sex together at a party with all his friends watching.  For some reason I went along with this because there was something about him that was interesting.  After we had sex he told me he wasn't going to do this with me again because he has a girl friend.  Well I thought he should have avoided the whole sex thingy right from the beginning if this is how he felt.  But I did go to another party with his girl friend present where there was more sex scenes but I didn't participate and found the party very boring.  The next day, however, his girl friend contacted me and she helped me get a much more female avatar

  A lot has been happening as my gender fluidness meshes with my spirituality.  Because of my femboi profile on second life I was invited to join a group by a guy who put together an amazing site.  He gave me a tour of his place and then we had sex together at a party with all his friends watching.  For some reason I went along with this because there was something about him that was interesting.  After we had sex he told me he wasn't going to do this with me again because he has a girl friend.  Well I thought he should have avoided the whole sex thingy right from the beginning if this is how he felt.  But I did go to another party with his girl friend present where there was more sex scenes but I didn't participate and found the party very boring.  The next day his girl friend contacted me and she helped me get a much more female avatar and became my friend.   Even though she is a biological straight female and didn't understand my need to feminize mysel

   Well I am experiencing unconditional love again.  There were a couple of upsets when the guy I am with felt that our relationship was gay, but I assured him it wasn't for me and when in the virtual world, I am heterosexual.  So we agreed that our relationship is hetero in the virtual world for both of us.   We agreed not to have sex with other people.  And just today I had to tell a guy I couldn't have sex with him because I have a new bf.  I hate being used for sex and for me it's soo much better to have a good relationship in which sex is just a part of it.

   My new unconditional love relationship is still going strong.  I am thinking about buying him a penis which could be a mistake.  But if it really is unconditional love, then a penis shouldn't make all that much difference.  Through this relationship I find I'm able to let go of my first unconditional love relationship which was only a trap.  I do wish I could let go of relationships without the need to substitute one relationship for another.     But at least I was able to materialize this new relationship after making a stand and letting go of the relationship that was toxic to my soul.  And I was able to do it without needing another relationship in place before I cut loose from the toxic relationship.  I had trouble letting go of it in my mind and still think about it but not as strongly.    Soo I guess I'll find out if my new relationship can survive the purchase of a penis, lol.