willing victim

  Being raised as a boy but developing female body changes at puberty makes for a very difficult mental condition.  Sometimes I present as a boy who dresses as a girl and other times I present as a girl who hides the fact that there is a penis in my panties. I like to form deep relationships with straight guys, which is kind of a naughty gurly thing to do.  The guys enjoy the deep relationship as much as I do and you would think we would just be happy with our intense relationship.  But something weird always happens.  After enjoying each other's company for a long period of time, they start to question my gender. Once this happens there is no going back.  The relationship comes to an end and he goes back to being alone and unhappy again.  And I found this circumstance to happen over and over again with every straight guy I have had a deep relationship with. So I would start presenting as an effeminate boy to avoid the drama of relating to straight guy...

Even though I was born with a penis and was brought up as a boy, when I hit puberty, I grew breasts and got other female characteristics.  But at this time, I also  became aware of the seed of God deep in my being. I nurtured this seed with thoughts and actions of love and peace and truth and freedom. I protected this seed from the attacks of the world and never betrayed the integrity of it’s being. I found that weather I presented as a girly boy or a girl with a penis in her panties, the world was very hostile to me.  I figured it was because  most of the people around me had either sold their seed to the highest bidder or had fed it thoughts and actions motivated by fear until it withered and died. The world did its' best to make me believe in its   illusions,  but I never lost sight of the truth. Finally,  after finding out that I could not be bought or scared into submission, the world decided to erase me. But by this time the seed of God had b...

                                                                                 I became a femboy because the world crushed my male ego.  At the time it was very painful, but I was able to survive by adopting a femboy persona.  It was still a difficult path to follow but after taking my fair share of abuse, I started to see light at the end of this tunnel. I became aware that no matter how hard it tried, the world couldn't hurt me anymore.  I had eaten all my bad karma and remained on a high spiritual level, no matter how I looked or even if I had a penis in my panties.  I found when I applied for a job looking like a girl, but checking off the male box in my application, I didn't get the job.  So I tried getting a boy haircut but that didn't work either. L So...

Since puberty, I started growing breasts instead of the male characteristics I was supposed to develop, because I was born with a penis.  I figured my body knew what it was doing and went with it.  Of course, I found it difficult to be one of the boys with a set of tits, so I went with being a femboy. I guess I could have made more of an effort to look like a boy, but I often got carried away with my girly look. I found out that crossing the gender divide didn't go over very well with the world I was living in.  So, by necessity, I became a loner.  It was a difficult way to live but I couldn't seem to break out of the victim slot I found myself in.  Then one day I met someone who changed my life.  He appeared to be a femboy but didn't see himself as a victim. He tried to tell me being a girl with a penis was more fun than being a girl with a vagina.  I had trouble believing him because of how my world had been treating me.  But he said he would in...