My Female Journey


 

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Being Gender Fluid

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 I live and work on this dairy farm in Pennsylvania with my mom and step dad. Mostly my step dad is more a guru to me than a parent and over the years we have attained a high level of conscious awareness together.  My biological father, however, is having his mental problems and mostly I go and live with him to help him out mentally as well as do a little work on the horse farm he owns in Massachusetts.  As you can see from the picture below of me taking a bath, I can easily pass for a girl even if biologically I am a boy.  The fact that I swing from looking more male some days or more female some other days causes my physical world no end of trouble. My mom worries a lot about how the world will react to me and feels I could meet people who get angry at my gender fluidness.  At first I didn't understand her concern but after going out in the world without adhering to my assigned gender role, I did encounter some angry people who would have hurt me if they c...
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Growing up as a Girly boy

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  I would go to school looking like this and my world would explode.  Everyone was freaked out by how I looked.  Personally, it didn't seem like a very big deal to me.  I just liked wearing skirts and acting girly, but for some reason the people around me went crazy.  Of course, non of the boys would have anything to do with me, but a few of the girls thought I was cute.  So mostly I would hang out with the girls. I was fine with being just one of the girls, but the hostility toward me kept getting worse until I got labeled a disruptive influence and got suspended from school.  Now things weren't good with my parents anyway, and as far as my dad was concerned, this was the last straw and he threw me out of his house.  So, I ended up on the road hitching rides. When I did get a ride, the person would feel sorry for me and take me to a restaurant to eat or to their place to sleep since I was never sure of where I was going.  I got picked up by ...
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Linear Thinking

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  We all strive to think linearly because without linear thinking we would be unable to relate to the rest of the world.  But linear thinking doesn't take us where we need to go. At some point linear thinking will take us to the edge of a cliff and tell us if we go any farther we will fall and be broken on the rocks below.  Non linear thinking tells us we can fly to the other side of the chasm. But there is a certain level of awareness that has to be attained before you are able to fly to the other side.  Your karma must be positive.    This means you must eat your own karma instead of passing it on to anyone who opens up to you.  And of course, doing good deeds to your fellow man or girl helps alot. Everyone believes non linear thinking is a mental illness and for the most part it is.  Unless you pay the price of awareness, the world will chew you up and spit you out. So we all pick a reality to believe in and and fight to maintain it when we enc...
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