Unconditional Love and Gender Fluidness 2
On my journey to find unconditional love, I've had many distractions and here is another one. This guy came to me and said how he liked romancing fembois. So I figured this was something I could get into. We danced and chatted and discovered we both were interested in deep long term virtual relationships. So we started seeing each other everyday and cuddled and danced and chatted. Then I figured we could play video games together because that always gets me excited.
Well he wouldn't give me his address so I could send him an extra
playstation I have. I figured the reason he was so hesitant about me
entering his real life was because he felt guilty about his involvement
with me. I pretty much know where this kind of thinking leads.
Eventually he can't stand the guilt and breaks off the relationship and
leaves me feeling like I'm the pervert so he can feel better about
himself. I only had to play that game once to know I didn't want to
play it again, so I stopped seeing him and continued on my journey to
find unconditional love.
The
reason why unconditional love is so hard to find is due to the fact
that there are so many control freaks in our society. Especially when
you need to make a living you seem to be at the mercy of the biggest
asshole around. But it is possible to live your life the way you want
to and not play these victim/victimizing games. If you can beat the
control freaks at their own game, then you are capable of love. Then
finding someone to love you back becomes the problem.
One thing about control freaks is that they all believe it is
impossible to beat the system, so they always underestimate your power.
But if you can survive their attempt to victimize you and you have a
desire to continue the game, for whatever reason, you can stop them from
victimizing anyone else. This is work for you but very good for your
spiritual life. Eventually if a control freak can't materialize
victims, he or she becomes a victim themselves.
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