Love is the only Reality

I was asked to write this story. Bringing it to the surface like this is not something I would do on my own. But as long as I do it without attachment, it shouldn’t cause me any difficulty.
My father loved me and my mother. This is where I first learned about love and loved both my mother and father back in turn. I was young when my father died of a heart attack. I went to the hospital and saw him just before he passed away. The last thing he said was,”take care of your mother.” I left the room and cried into my mother’s arms. But I could tell she wasn’t crying nor seemed to be all that upset.
Later I found out that the fact he died while still on the job as a policeman, set my mother up for life, financially. At the time I didn’t think much about it until I got older and realized she would do anything for money and loving her was a good way to wind up dead like my father. I guess this awareness is what set me upon my spiritual path which I hoped would save me from being the next victim of a mother who believed, when the money goes, the love goes too.

So I walked out the door and became a homeless person. Unlike most homeless people I was so into myself that the material world around me didn’t infringe on my spiritual reality. It felt like I was looking through a distorted window at the physical world which I couldn’t relate to and in turn it didn’t inflict pleasure or pain on me. My body wanted nourishment and shelter but I ignored her. I walked around with death perched on my shoulder like a parrot. I didn’t push death away but I didn’t embrace her either. And then the physical world infringed on my reality in the form of a guy trying to rape me. It wasn’t the physical act that got my attention, it was looking into his mind and seeing the angel of death coming to relieve my of this physical burden called life. She was beautiful and I was ready. Unfortunately, the guy who was raping me saw her too and wasn’t as ready to give up his life to her. So he stopped raping me and left my mind and body as quickly as he was able. That’s when I discovered that I am a karmic mirror.
  This experience made me realize I was going to stay alive and have to deal with the physical world.  So I started doing temporary jobs and low level work that nobody wanted to do, like apple picking and working in a chick hatchery scraping chicken shit off of trays.  I was able to buy a tent and some camping equipment so I got to live outside without paying rent.  But as I was picking apples in September, I realized my days of living outdoors would come to an end when winter came.  So with all my belonging on my back I started hitch hiking down south to pick oranges for the winter.
I’m not beautiful but I am kind of cute in a country sort of way.
  So I had no trouble getting rides from guys.  And when they found out I was sleeping in a tent they would invite me to share a room with them when they stopped for the night.  I wasn’t into casual sex but if I liked the guy I would agree to share a room.  This is an example one of these experiences;
I ask him to sit in front of me in a lotus position so he drops to the ground in a lazy crisscross. I tickle out a laugh, but proceed to squat near him. I kneel and touch his head. “Straight and dignified, maybe raise it a little to the air. Receive your thoughts, don’t look down on them unless you need to hide them. Relax your shoulders, no need to prepare them for battle. Unlock your posture, no…not sloppy, just up and straight….with ease. Feel it?” My hand is now on his chest.
“Feel what, my heart beating?” he smirks
“No, the inner you. It beats inside of you like a soft whisper…you feel it’s vibration sometimes. Do you feel it?” He nods his head and appears to be trying to listen more seriously to what I’m saying.
As he becomes more relaxed in my presence and is starting to trust me as much as he’s able to trust anyone, my mind opens up to him and he starts to fall into it. His body twitches as his mind leaves it behind and his essence flies through the window of my soul and we meet in an inner realm of my creation. We are both naked as I take his hand in mine and pull him down on top of me. At first he starts to use me to gain some illusionary end which doesn’t exist on this plane. Then he becomes more aware as he realizes there is nothing to win or lose here.
“Be Here Now,” I whisper in his ear.
“I’ve never been this high in my entire life,” he whispers back as we merge and our consciousness expands to the point where we touch the mind of God. Nobody stays this high for long and suddenly there is an explosion of
white light which propels our souls back into our bodies.
“What the fuck happen?” he screams as he gets to his feet and looks at me like I’m some kind of witch.
“I was just playing with your mind a little bit dear, you seemed to be enjoying yourself the last time I looked.”
“What you did was really fuckin weird, nobody does it like that.”
“Well I feel bad for everyone else cuz fucking with your mind is soooo much better than slopping around with your bodies.’ I purred back at him.
“I’m going out to find somebody who likes to slop around with her body and you’ll be lucky if I even come back.”