Spirituality and Gender Fluidness 6

 

   Lately I've been expressing the male side of my gender fluidness.  I'm more comfortable with being on the female end of my gender fluid spectrum, but I tend to get attached to my female persona and through this attachment experience pain.  I tend to express unconditional love as a female and since the world is mostly filled with low level people who use other people, I need to leave my femaleness and start moving along my gender fluid spectrum toward my male persona. 
   As I become more male I start to put conditions on my love and it takes great effort and discipline to leave my female role behind and experience the loneliness that comes from being a femboy.  But with this loneliness comes the power to materialize, which is often what I need to make my life meaningful.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Being Gender Fluid

Image
 I live and work on this dairy farm in Pennsylvania with my mom and step dad. Mostly my step dad is more a guru to me than a parent and over the years we have attained a high level of conscious awareness together.  My biological father, however, is having his mental problems and mostly I go and live with him to help him out mentally as well as do a little work on the horse farm he owns in Massachusetts.  As you can see from the picture below of me taking a bath, I can easily pass for a girl even if biologically I am a boy.  The fact that I swing from looking more male some days or more female some other days causes my physical world no end of trouble. My mom worries a lot about how the world will react to me and feels I could meet people who get angry at my gender fluidness.  At first I didn't understand her concern but after going out in the world without adhering to my assigned gender role, I did encounter some angry people who would have hurt me if they could have.   Bu
Read more

Journey to the East

Image
                                                                                 I became a femboy because the world crushed my male ego.  At the time it was very painful, but I was able to survive by adopting a femboy persona.  It was still a difficult path to follow but after taking my fair share of abuse, I started to see light at the end of this tunnel. I became aware that no matter how hard it tried, the world couldn't hurt me anymore.  I had eaten all my bad karma and remained on a high spiritual level, no matter how I looked or even if I had a penis in my panties.  I found when I applied for a job looking like a girl, but checking off the male box in my application, I didn't get the job.  So I tried getting a boy haircut but that didn't work either. L So I ended up working a chick hatchery, scraping chicken shit off of trays because nobody else wanted this kind of job.  But it didn't bother me and even my fellow workers, who were very unhappy most of the time, di
Read more

Off the farm

Image
I live in this big old house with some friends of mine. I say friends but mostly I mean people who like my company and the rent I give them each month for the room I'm staying in. Also I help with the cleaning and cooking and caring for the young boy of the couple who own this place. There are other people who come stay here for a while and at night we all get together like one big happy family and try to get high according to our preferences. This particular night a new guy showed up, his name is Cardy. If you've read any of my previous blogs, you know I have a condition.  I was born with a penis but went through a female puberty.  Soo now I look, dress, and act like a girl but have a penis in my panties. "Hi Cardy, I'm Denise," I say as I'm introduced to this new dude. He is kinda cute and never lets the joint go by without taking a good toke from it. Then as can be expected, he starts to rap. "Well people, I'm heading out on a 1,500 mile trip with
Read more